Tag Archives: breakups

Start Your Revengines……

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I don’t want to tell you everything is okay anymore because it’s not… It’s always been this never resting, push and pull of uncertainty between us. Either we’re best friends, getting married and building houses with secret passages, or we’re never going to speak again or even live within the same 500 mile radius. Maybe I’m just growing up or maybe my trip to see you cleared some things up… But I tried. I wore a dress. I spent $30 on cupcakes. Nice fucking cupcakes. I talked to your parents, and really talked for the first time in years. We listened to Alanis Morissette and she belted out words that I now feel when thinking about you. You suck.

I hate that you told me you thought about saving up for an engagement ring by putting spare change in a coin jar. I hate that you still wear my belt, because it’s a girls belt and I know you let other girls touch it. I hate you so much that I deleted you off of all social media platforms, just so I don’t have to look at that belt. It’s from Abercrombie Kids, you’re too old for it, even though you are the biggest man child in existence. I used to keep you on my friend’s list, reasoning I want you to see how awesome my life is and be jealous that you’re not here. I’m finally realizing that it was so I could keep track of your life, even when you decided to ‘simply be selfish’ and not speak to me. But I can’t stand even that anymore, so since you’re such a self-absorbed narcissist I’ll leave you to yourself. I’m sucking the poison out of my life (Mean Girls quote of the day) and you don’t deserve to see my statuses or photos of my adventures, not until you learn how to control your passive aggressive actions and become a real person. Yes, I realize the indirectness/irony of this post.

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You can’t be afraid to make the life you want yours. Self-advocacy is one of the toughest parts of growing up, but that’s no reason to not get what you want. The National Equality March posted this photo earlier this week and I can’t even begin to do justice on how inspirational this is on the policy level, to unite an entire group of people fighting for one cause. In our personal lives, we can take a few notes from what has become a full-fledged civil rights movement. You have to empower yourself to make the smallest step, even if you have to crawl an inch closer to what you want.

If you have a question that’s been nagging you, you need to ask it. There will never be a time that you’re ready. So speak up, get out there, and do at least something for the answers you need in life. This could mean changing something you know is currently an unjust, or maybe it’s simply closure. Time won’t answer those questions, and if they’re the types that replay in your head when you’re alone or hear old songs, they won’t answer themselves. If you’re afraid of damaging your pride, there are too many boring, one-dimensional people out there anyway.

Earlier this week, I woke up a little earlier than usual. Naturally, I made the choice to finish watching Silver Linings Playbook, instead of making sure I wouldn’t have to run to catch the bus downtown. At the end of the film, everything miraculously comes together for B. Coop’s character. He ends the film with this expository insight: “The world will break your heart ten ways to Sunday, that’s guaranteed, and I can’t begin to explain that, or the craziness inside myself and everybody else but guess what? Sunday is my favorite day again. I think of everything everyone did for me and I feel like a very lucky guy.” The world is going to break your heart, but the key to all of this is keeping your heart open to everyone who won’t. You have to realize that there are awful, soul-sucking people that will grab hold of you sometimes. If you keep your heart open to the people that will lift you above this, you’ll enjoy Sunday again.

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